73. These three types of thought cause blindness, loss of sight and ignorance, they put an end to wisdom, are associated with trouble, and do not conduce to Nirvana. What three? Thoughts of greed, hatred and harming. These three types of thought give vision, seeing and knowledge, they increase wisdom, are associated with harmony, and conduce to Nirvana. What three? Thoughts of giving up, love and helping.
Itivuttaka 82
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Even though the aount of time I have been able to put into the practice has been significantly reduced lately I am finding that the quality of my days has vastly improved simply because I remeber from time to time to put my attention on the breath. So simple and yet so hard to fathom.
It strikes me as odd just how much of this practice is about appropriate attention: when I put my attention on wholesome objects and themes I experience ease and a sense of unification; when my attention goes to the unwholesome distraction and dukkha reign supreme. Even this morning as I reflected on my sitting I realized that when we’re asked to review it a more skillful approach may be to highlight what worked since I tend to beat myself silly with the things that didn’t go right. Really the question is this: what am I trying to cultivate? Peace or suffering. The choice really is mine.
A dhamma friend of mine asked me the other night how I managed to maintain a practice with newborns as he is due to be a father anytime. He has been able to attain deeper states of concetration in the past and is now of the opinion that anything less than a 45 minute sit is worthless. Sound familiar?
As I gave him advice about maintaining a guerilla practice I realized that I really have not yet been able to sit anything less than the ideal amount of time without judgement either. Yes, all things being equal it is generally better to sit longer but it’s always good to remind oneself of the fact that, as Ven. Ajahn Chah pointed out, chickens are consumate professionals when it comes to sitting for long periods but not one yet has become an arahant (as far as I can tell).
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: formal meditation, sitting, spiritual friends
69. And how is cleaning of the body threefold? Concerning this, one abandons killing, lays aside the rod and the knife; one lives gently, kindly and feeling compassion towards every living being.
One abandons stealing the property of another, whether in the jungle or the village; things not given, one does not steal.
One abandons sexual misconduct. One has no intercourse with girls under the guardianship of mother, father, brother, sister or relatives, with girls lawfully protected, already pledged to a husband, those undergoing punishment or those dressed with flowers and pledged to be married.
Anguttara Nikaya V.266
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This morning we had the good fortune of being able to offer food to Thanissaro Bhikkhu at my teacher’s apartment. What was even better was the fact that our children we able to take part even if, at 6 and 3, they had no real understanding of it. Which begs the question: do I have any real understanding of it?
There was a time not so long ago when I felt sure that I did but now I am as equally confident in my lack of certainty. And yet, whenever I am around Ven. Thanissaro I feel the same sense of awe I used to as a small child walking amongst the pews of the my grandparents’ church. Does that speak to my naievete or is it something else? I’m not so sure.
For most of the day I have been running around like a chicken with his head cut off completely unmindful off the breath. On those occasions when I have remebered it it has been a fragile refuge but it is better than nothing. And yet I am grateful for it.
The past year has been hard and now it seems as if the tough times are here to stay indefinitely. So much for the best laid plans of mice and men… And, yet, even in the midst of this there is a thread of thought which bobs up and begs me to remember gratitude. I always think of the bhikkhu who was about to depart for uncultured lands and who was asked by the Lord Buddha how he would deal with it if they abused him. Throughout every hypothetical form of abuse the bhikkhu was able to find something to be grateful for. So, even now, in the midst of yet another dark hour, I will seek to incline my heart and view to gratitude.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Gratitude, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: gratitude, LOrd Buddha
Walking through the cold wastes of Brooklyn I was able to remember from time to time to return my attention to the breath in the abdomen where I have decided to feel it. I say “time to time” because the mind was generally awash in various streams of thought related to problems at work but I am grateful to have had the presence of mind to see my aversion to these thoughts and my desire to push them away. For this insight I credit the small refuge of the breath that at least gives me a vantage point outside of the raging river of obsessive and anxiety-ridden thought. It was at this point whne I caught myself thinking: when will these thoughts stop? When will I no longer be plagued by these worries? It is hard to say if this was simply born from aversion but it is nonetheless true that, if I want to give the mind better nutriment and solace then there is simply no better remedy than mindfulness of the breat in the present moment. We’re always cultivating something so I might as well try to incline my actions and intentions towards something that is to my long term benefit.
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Dukkha, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, breath meditation, daily life, mindfulness
So, last night my teacher gave a talk about the subject of breath meditation and mindfulness with an emphasis on our practice off the cushion. I have always given up on trying to keep the breath in mind after a week or two precisely because it requires so much effort and the results weren’t immediately clear or spectacular.
And yet, I know there is much to the admonition and that mindfulness of the body vis-a-vis the breath is a key part of the path as outlined in the Satipatthana Sutta so why the resistance? Doubt, fear, sloth: all of which I should immediately see for what they are. And yet, my delusion is strong and I somehow believe that I need to hold fast to the thoughts and they will deliver me. And, despite the fact that it hasn’t worked yet I show no signs of wising up.
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, breah meditation, delusion, satipatthana
As a parent of a 6 and 3 year old I find myself tested on a daily basis and, despite my teacher’s encouragement to the contrary, I really do not believe that I am cultivating wholesome skills. Of late my son, the six year old, has been pushhing the boundaries and probing us to see what he can get away with. His tone of voice, the things he says and his stone-like indifference to our repeated requests to get dressed, come to the bathroom, etc. are quickly pushing me to a place where I resort to physical intimidation. Granted, I do not hit but, as he gets older and more physical himself, the lines are blurring.
Thinking back to when I was a child with a father who did hit and whose force and physical presence was a constant in my life I realize that I never tried to hit back until I was a teenager and then only once. The threat of harm was real enough and I had seen and felt the results of disobedience so I knew not to press my luck. My son doesn’t have that fear and I really wonder what that means.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: fear, parenthood, respect
A certain sense of dis-ease has come to reside in my chest and now seems to be a constant companion of mine. Breathing in and allowing the breath to spread into all of these parts I feel a contraction in my shoulders and a holding throughout my body as if bracing for a punch. It’s strange to see such a physical reaction to what amounts to a purely mental reality but it is there and is as powerful as a vise as it twists my body into pretzel shaped caricatures of a human being.
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