Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 07/13/2014

Change of Plans

Yesterday I made the decision to break fast with my in-laws not solely because I enjoy their company but also due to the fact that I knew it was the best way to keep me out of trouble. My mind had become so inflamed and agitated that I shudder to think what could have happened if it did not do my best to reign it in.

As is wont to happen when one has a late iftar, we all ended up staying awake and chatting for much longer than I normally would have but to do otherwise would have been rude. As a result I allowed myself to sleep in much later than I expected and missed the opportunity to make it back to the city in time to attend meditation. Anyone else see a theme here?

Recriminations aside, I’m now on a NY bound train going home. May I not squander the day ahead and may I be grateful for the kind and loving family I am blesed to be a part of.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Fasting, Gratitude, Islam, Theravada | Tags: family, recriminations

Posted by: Michael | 07/12/2014

Obsessed

Today is an uposatha day but due to the fact that it is Ramadhan and because I am going to my in-laws to break fast I decided not observe. Unfortunately I also let slip my practice plans for today and didn’t make it to the temple this morning either. Instead I allowed the unguarded mind to do as it pleased and I have suffered for it as a result. All day long I have watched as my mind has returned with a ferocity and dstermination I can’t help but envy and it all started with a minute’s heedlessness.

At times like this (thank goodness they aren’t frequent) I often think of the Dhammapada verse (Dhp 121) where the Lord admonishes us not to think lightly of evil because it adds up drop by drop only to overwhelm us like a flood. How apt and poignant are the words of the Tathagata more than two millennia after and half a world away from his parinibbana.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Fasting, Islam, Sensual Desire, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: Dhammapada 121, obsession

Posted by: Michael | 07/11/2014

Intending the Day

Often, when I walk out of my building into broad daylight it is as if I am born anew into a clear confusion. Maybe it’s something about the coolness of the morning air or the brightness of the just risen sun but upon stepping out of the close, dimly lit confines of my tenement it is literally as if I have left the house and forgotten to put on my clothes.

Rather than allowing my nakedness to slide heedlessy into unskillful reverie I have often found that I will begin to finger my wrist mala and somewhat automatically begin reciting a medditation word such as “metta” with each bead. Certainly I have conditioned myself to do so and it has a real benefit but, were I to make it an actual practice to set my intention for the day each day before I opened the door to the outside world how much more grounded and effective might that be?

In the coming days and weeks I’d like to experiment with consciously intending my day before I step out the door. May I be mindful enough to do so and, if I succeed, I will surely let you know how it went.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Aditthana, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Meditation Word, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, heedfulness, intention, mindfulness

Posted by: Michael | 07/10/2014

Persistence

This Ramadhan I keep returning to the theme of persistence and am continually relearning just how powerful determination can be-which shouldn’t be surprising given that aditthana is a parami. As anyone who fasts over an extended period of time can tell you, no two days are the same and you will experience all manner of strange physiological and psychological phenomena throughout the course of a day. At times I almost forget I am fasting and there is a sweetness and tenderness about the heart and mind unencumbered by concerns for grosser sense pleasures while at others I am completely consumed by my desire for food and drink.

Yet such oscillations are to be expected for a worldling like myself. What does interest me is the power of intention to persevere through nausea, weakness, despair, craving and all sorts of unpleasant feelings of body and mind. If I learn nothing else but this during this Ramadhan no day of fasting will have been in vain.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Aditthana, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Nekkhama, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, parami, persistence, Ramadhan, resolve

Posted by: Michael | 07/09/2014

Seeing the Drawbacks

With my family having safely arrived my thoughts now turn to how I will use my time in their absence. My plans to spend extra time in practice have been somewhat thwarted by the fact of Ramadhan which saps my strength and deposits me squarely on the shores of exhaustion at 8:30pm every night.

This morning, for example, I awoke with a head that has yet to stop swimming and as I sat in meditation all sorts of unskilfull and unwholesome thoughts began to bubble up. I have learned from prolonged acquaintance that this seems to be a result of pushing too hard so it does not throw me into a panic as it used to. Nonetheless, I found myself having to switch my attention from the breath in order to deal with the torrent of images and intentions which could have very easily carried me off into perdition.

For the first time that I can recall I was able to give myself enough space and honesty to ask myself what the outcome of following these thoughts might be. What could I honestly expect to happen if I acted on them? I found that I truly couldn’t think of anything worthwhile and, on the flip side, the drawbacks were terrifying. As I contemplated I could literally feel the lust for these thoughts draining away until I was left with a firmer conviction not to entertain them (for the time being at least).

Maybe it wasn’t the subject I had intended to meditate on but it was incredibly useful and edifying all the same.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: akusala, drawbacks, kamma, kusala, right effort

Posted by: Michael | 07/08/2014

Infinite Beginnings

This morning as I sat in meditation the effects of a week’s fasting manifested as an almost rhythmic contraction and expansion of awareness. Ramadhan has proven to me once and for all just how important energy is for samadhi and that Right Effort is much more than a simple act of will. And yet the experience is proving to be incredibly worthwhile which must be the reason I subject myself to the observance year after year (unless, of course, it just gives the masochist in me free reign to do as it wants).

What I noticed during this mornings sit, amidst the chattering, the worrying, the sleepiness and food fantasies was that I was able to simply let go. Let go and truly begin anew. As I write it now it is clear that this realization doesn’t translate well into words but the feeling of spaciousness and an excitement born of the infinte possibilities offered by each new moment, each new breath is perhaps the best way to present it. Were I a poet I may have been better able to evoke the emotional tone of the realization but in this birth I have not been so lucky. Anyway, this morning’s sit has helped to strengthen my conviction that no effort is lost and we can always begin anew. Great news for a mind like mine inclined to negativity. Sukhita hontu.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: meditation, present moment, right effort

Posted by: Michael | 07/07/2014

Compassion

255. Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed.

Dhammapada Atthakata 193

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Karuna, Theravada | Tags: compassion, karuna

Posted by: Michael | 07/05/2014

Happy Uposatha – The Possession of Virtue

72. Just as dawn is the forerunner, the vanguard of the rising sun, so too, possession of virtue is the forerunner, the vanguard of the rising of the Noble Eightfold Path.

Samyutta Nikaya V.28

May we remain commited to the development of virtue and so never fall from the path to the Deathless.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Nekkhama, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: eightfold path, uposatha, virtue

Posted by: Michael | 07/04/2014

Ramadhan and Uposatha

Tomorrow is the uposatha and I find myself struggling once more with how to navigate these practices and despite the fact that this has become an annual ritual I have no more clarity now than the first year I tried to balance the two. For me, the uposatha observance has always had more significance because of my reverence and love for the Dhamma but, once I have made the determination to fast for the hike month of Ramadhan I never feel right breaking the fast even for the uposatha. In the past I have suspended the fast of Ramadhan on uposatha days but this year I believe I will take the approach of keeping the fast while observing the seven precepts of the atthasila that do not have to do with eating.

Obviously there is going to be some dissonance here which is why I think it’s important for me to clarify for myself why I am doing ths in the first place. The truth is that my experience with Islam is one that has been primarily motivated by my marriage and the desire of my wife to make a place for Islam in our children’s lives not only to continue tradition but to preserve the family ties that would surely be severed were I not to have converted and played the role of observant Muslim. To a certain extent I feel I have participated in a deception but at the same time my earnest struggle to make meaning out of the situation leaves me, at times, in confusion and despair.

My apologies to all of my Buddhist and Muslim friends if I have offended anyone with my confession but this blog has always been to serve a s a place for contemplation and reflection in the interests of further my spiritual growth. It is my sincere hope that through honesty and ardent practice I will see ever more clearly with each passing day. As salaam alaikum.

2 Comments

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Fasting, Islam, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: Buddhism, Dharma, fasting, Islam, Muslim, Ramadan, Ramadhan, Religion and Spirituality, uposatha, uposatha days

Posted by: Michael | 07/03/2014

Metta Parami Practice

184. And how does one dwell pervading one direction with a mind filled with love? Just as one would feel love for a loving, pleasant person, like this one pervades all beings with love. And concerning this, what is love? That which in beings is love, the act of love, the state of love, love that is free from ill-will.
And how does one dwell pervading one direction with a mind filled with compassion? Just as one would feel compassion for a miserable or evil person, like this one pervades all beings with compassion. And concerning this, what is compassion? That which in beings is compassion, the act of being compassionate, the state of being compassionate, compassion that is free from cruelty.
And how does one dwell pervading one direction with a mind filled with sympathetic joy? Just as one would feel joyful for a lovely, pleasant person, like this one pervades all beings with sympathetic joy. And concerning this, what is sympathetic joy? That which in beings is sympathetic joy, the act of sympathetic joy, the state of sympathetic joy, sympathetic joy that is free from envy.
And how does one dwell pervading one direction with a mind filled with equanimity? Just as one would feel equanimity for a person neither pleasant nor unpleasant, like this one pervades all beings with equanimity. And concerning this, what is equanimity? That which in beings is equanimity, the act of equanimity, the state of equanimity, equanimity that is free from distress.

Vibhanga 272

This morning I decided, on the spur of the moment, to begin with metta bhavana. I took the traditional, commentarial approach and began with myself before moving on to my parents and then my daughter. For the first time in quite awhile I was not so preoccupied with the phrases themselves but, having checked-in with my intention, I settled on using whatever came up.

At some point I realized that I had decided to give up on the idea of cultivating acertain state or feeling and was just enjoying the fact that I could and was spreading goodwill, care and concern to myself and others. This realization helped me to reformulate my intention and undertake the practice not to gain something just or primarily for myself but as an offering to others (in this case my parents and daughter). It is an approach to metta bhavana that is advocated by one of my teachers and that I think has much value but, due to my own greedy tendencies, it is one I often forego in favor of techniques that emphasize cultivating a certain feeling.

May I return to this intention to serve and care for all beings throughout the day and may my fasting serve as a reminder of the suffering of all beings in a state of perpetual want.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Formal Meditation, Metta, Theravada | Tags: concern, love, meditation, metta, Ramadhan, suffering