Cattāri Brahmavihārā

301. Although this wish may rise in the heart of one who is applying himself to meditation: “May my mind be free from the defilements and without attachments,” yet it will not happen. And why? Because he has not developed the four foundations of mindfulness, the four right efforts, the four psychic powers, the five faculties, the five spiritual powers, the seven factors of enlightenment and the Noble Eightfold Path. It is just as if a batch of hen’s eggs were not fully sat upon, not fully warmed, not fully developed. Although that hen might wish: “Oh, that my chicks might break the shell with claw and beak and hatch out safely,” it will not happen. And why? Because the eggs are not fully sat upon, not fully warmed, not fully developed.
Although no such wish may arise in one who is developing the four foundations of mindfulness, the four right efforts, the four psychic powers, the five faculties, the spiritual powers, the seven factors of enlightenment and the Noble Eightfold Path, yet his mind will be freed. And why? Because he has fully developed these things. It is just as if a batch of hen’s eggs were fully sat upon, fully developed. That hen may not wish: “Oh, that my chicks might hatch,” and yet her eggs will hatch anyway. And why? Because they are fully warmed, fully developed.

Anguttara Nikaya IV.124

I don’t know whether to rightly call it complacency but I have been allowing circumstances to get the better of me and have not been putting forth the same effort as I have become accustomed to in formal practice. I suppose, creeping somewhere in the background, there is a sense of failure and self-judgement about having given up the abhaya-cariya practices for a bit which has colored everything else. I think I need to make the firm resolve to practice at 6am and 11am during the week and at 6 am on the weekends in order to start rebuilding my practice. Wish me luck.