Posted by: Michael | 04/05/2016

Stable Attention

I’ve been reading the Mind Illuminated and I really like the way the author translates samadhi as stable attention rather than the more common concentration. I think my liking had a lot to do with the fact that concentration implies an almost willful during our of everything else and this desire to plus through and make meditation Anat of will head been something I’ve struggled with for years.

It’s clear to me that this is a personal preference and in not advocating that we try to change the way we use the English language to describe meditation but it had been a useful shift for me. Another thing that Culadasa recommend is that we get familiar with and reward ourselves for those “ah-ha” moments when we wake up to the present and return to the breath. So simple and yet so hard for a person with a habit of self-deprecation. 

Posted by: Michael | 04/03/2016

Free from Ill-Will

avero-homi

The last few days have been rough and I literally had to hold myself down on the cushion for last night’s session of formal, seated meditation. There was just so much aversion, directed primarily to myself, that I almost couldn’t bear it. Why? No idea really, as nothing in particular beyond indulging in mundane sense pleasures seemed to have precipitated it. But it was there and it was strong.

Today I met it again but was in a better place to deal with it more skillfully and chose to go right into metta bhavana by repeating the phrases with my mala — a technique that helps me when I’m feeling especially restless. After having completed the rounds I turned to body awareness and then anapanasati for some time before finishing again with metta.

It’s funny because I was speaking with Bhante Suddhaso the other night when he came to teach at my office and I commented that I didn’t hate anyone but clearly I forgot that I have some pretty deep seated issues with myself. And, for all the trouble I’v had trying to imagine what freedom from suffering might feel like, I have no such issues when it comes to imagining being free from ill-will.

 

 

Posted by: Michael | 04/01/2016

The Luminous Mind

91. The mind is luminous, but it is stained by defilements that come from without. Ordinary folk do not realize this, so they do not cultivate the mind. The mind is luminous, but it can be cleansed of defilements that come from without. This the noble disciples understand, so they do cultivate the mind.

Anguttara Nikaya I.10

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Posted by: Michael | 03/31/2016

Uposatha Day

Asubha_Body_Contemplation

Today is an uposatha day and it has been some time since I formally observed. I’m formulating my intention to begin again and have taken great joy in being able to do so again today. I had a doctor’s appointment today to examine a mole on the back of my head and I have to admit that part of my motivation for observing had to do with a deeper awareness of impermanence, sickness and death. Although the mole has turned out to be of little concern (they’re still going to biopsy it for me) it highlighted the precarious nature of existence in a body. So, thanks to my atypical nevus for the excellent reminder and teaching and fro getting me back on track.

Posted by: Michael | 03/30/2016

Imagining Freedom

image

One technique for cultivating metta that I’m practicing with asks us to first imagine ourselves suffused with the qualities described in each of the phrases above. Since this is a relatively new idea for me i’m taking my time with it and it is interesting to contemplate on what they might mean. 

What does it mean to imagine oneself free from suffering? What would that feel like? It’s funny to realize that I can barely imagine it even though that is where this whole path is pointing.

May I be free of suffering. To me this resonates most strongly as freedom from irritation, from worry, from anger and ill-will. But it is so much more, isn’t it? No boredom, no grasping, no searching. I think I’ll sit with this for awhile before moving on to flesh it out and imagine it in its fulness.

Posted by: Michael | 03/28/2016

True Friendship

87. Cultivate a friend whose ways are seven. What seven? He gives what is hard to give, does what is hard to do, bear what is hard to bear, he confesses his own secrets and keeps your secrets, in times of trouble he does not forsake you, and he does not forsake you when you are down.

Anguttara Nikaya IV.30

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Posted by: Michael | 03/25/2016

Motivation

A new book I’m reading about developing your meditation places a pretty strong emphasis on clarifying ones motivation every time one sites down to meditate. This is great above and I know I can benefit from it immensely both in formal practice and daily life.

Without bearing in mind or motivation it is so easy to get lost and swept up in this emotion or that thought. What,  then, is my motivation to practice?  Ultimately it is to gain release and provisionally to strengthen the heart and mind to mind them secure refuges in the storms of samsara. We have all been so fortunate to live in relative ease but, this state of affairs, is so fragile and subject to change like all else. How will I react when comforts are taken away,? Hope all I act in dire need? Will I abandon my precepts? Will I commit evil deeds for short term gain?

This is my motivation: to practice well enough to gain a foothold in the deathless. May we all practice well while there is yet time.

Posted by: Michael | 03/24/2016

Not Me, Not Mine

334. The Lord said to the monks: “Body is not self. If it were the self, it would not be liable to affliction, and one could say: ‘Let my body be like this. Let my body not be like this.’ But since the body is not the self, it is liable to affliction, and one cannot say: ‘Let my body be like this. Let my body not be like this.’ And it is the same with feeling, perception, mental constructs and consciousness. What do you think? Is body permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, sir.”
“Now, is what is impermanent painful or pleasant?”
“Painful, sir.”
“Now, is it fit to regard what is impermanent and painful like this: ‘This is mine, this is I, this is my self?”
“No, sir.”
“And it is the same with feeling, perception, mental constructs and consciousness. So, any kind of body, feeling, perception, mental constructs or consciousness – whether past, present or future, whether gross or subtle, whether internal or external, whether inferior or superior, whether far or near – must with right understanding be regarded thus: ‘This is not mine, this is not I, this is not myself.’ When a noble disciple has heard this and sees this, he is detached from body, feeling, perception, mental constructs and consciousness. Being detached, passions fade, with the fading of passions he is free, and when he is free he knows he is free. He knows: ‘Birth is ended, the holy life has been lived, what has had to be done is done, there is no more of this.’ ”

Samyutta Nikaya III.67

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Posted by: Michael | 03/23/2016

A Request for My Aunt

Aunt-Pat-2

Mary Patrica Sullivan Chandler

It seems to be that time of life when many of my aunts and uncles are passing away. It is a good reminder to practice while we can. Anyways,I just got word that my aunt is in a coma and in kidney failure and they intend to take her off life support at 8pm tonight.
I’m putting out a request to anyone who may read this to dedicate some merit to her, chant or pray for her if you feel so moved. May she have a favorable rebirth.
aniccā vata saṅkhārā, upāda vaya dhammino. uppajjitvā nirujjanti, tesaṁ vūpasamo sukho.
all compound things are inconstant, their nature: to arise and pass away. they disband even as they arise, their total stilling is bliss.
Posted by: Michael | 03/22/2016

A Question of Faith

There is a monk who I have been helping for some time. He has shared with me the difficulties of being a monastic in America and intimated that he may not always be in robes. After a conversation yesterday it appears that he will be disrobing soon enough and I am, quite predictably, disturbed by the idea.

I feel like I haven’t done enough to try to convince him to stay but, then again, that’s really not my place. With the way the world’s headed I think it’s sheer folly to throw away the opportunity to practice like that but what do I really know?  He’s alone in a foreign country and caught between the demands of the ethnic community that supports him and his teacher’s wish that he propagate the Dhamma among Americans.

Frankly, I’m at a loss about what to do but it seems that there really is nothing for it. Luckily, I never set him up in my mind as a teacher so I’m slated the crisis of conscience but it always saddens me to hear about someone disrobing.

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