Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I was finally about to return to the gym I joined last week for my first session of Gi BJJ and it was an eye opener in many ways, although likely not in the way you might assume. You see, I knew I was going to get my butt handed to me. I knew I was going to get choked out at some point. What I didn’t expect was that I would gas out at some point.

The biggest surprise of the evening was when I made the decision to give up and sit out. I felt nauseous and shaky and I threw in the towel. So, it was a big learning lesson and it has taught me that I can’t ever trust myself. Perhaps I’m so used to the specific abuse of striking in boxing, kickboxing and TKD that I just assumed I would be fine. But, sadly, I was wrong.

So, I tasted the only defeat that matters tonight: surrender. May I never taste it again in this life.