
I find myself facing the unpleasant feeling tone that accompanied fear. The fear of separation that naturally accompanies selfish love and attachment. My little one has to get an endoscopy tomorrow and, despite all of the assurances that these things are safe, I am still afraid that something will happen to her. But, rather than try to run from this discomfort or allow myself to get completely wrapped up and stuck in a web of anxious thoughts, I am trying to stay with the physical feelings. This, while adverting to the possibilities that, yes, she could die, during the procedure or tonight for that matter.
Why have I arbitrarily chosen to focus on the hour or so that she is under tomorrow when her death could come at any time for almost any reason? As a seeker of truth and a disciple of Lord Buddha, it is my duty to courageously face this suffering and understand it so that I can put an end to it. What better tribute and what better gift can I give to my children than the gift of Dhamma? May I practice courage today and everyday so that I can learn to look dukkha in the face and unbind the knots that keep me tied to this wheel of becoming.
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