Posted by: Upāsaka | 01/23/2020

Dhamma and Marriage

Now that have officially relented and have told my wife that she can go ahead and proceed with finding a mediator to get the divorce she so badly wants, I find myself wondering how a Dhammic marriage might look.

Of course, there is the Sigalovada Sutta which provides ample guidance but I was looking for something more. I was lucky enough to stumble across Venerable Dhammika’s post on the subject, quoting the words of the Buddha as follows:

He said that a couple who are following the Dhamma will “speak loving words to each other” (aññamañña piyaṃvādā) [9] and that “to cherish one’s children and spouse is the greatest blessing” (puttadārassa saṅgaho  etaṃ maṅgalamuttamaṃ) [10] . He said that “a good wife is the supreme soulmate” (bharyā va paramā sakhā) [11] and the Jātaka comments that a husband and wife should live “with joyful minds, of one heart and in harmony” (pamodamānā ekacittā samaggavāsaṃ) [12]

Clearly, ours has not been a Dhammic union but I will do ask that is in my power to ensure that, in my thoughts, words and deeds, it becomes so in divorce.

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