Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I spent some time yesterday looking for Dhamma passages on being imperturbable and unruffled in the face of the vicissitudes but, as one would expect, Lord Buddha goes straight for the liberated mind every time. This isn’t a complaint, however. It’s simply a realization that the Blessed One taught with one goal in mind.

At present, being so far from the goal, I am looking for something that is more provisionally useful and has to do with one’s interpersonal behavior rather than one’s insights into phenomena.

What I’ve come up with it’s this: regardless of the situation, the wisest course is to behave as if all things are proceeding in the best possible way. When someone insults you, continue treating them with the same kindness and concern as before. When you, yourself fail in a moment of weakness, pick yourself back up as soon as possible and proceed as if nothing happened. That is, take a benevolent and charitable view if yourself while returning tour noise to the grindstone of self discipline.

My wife wants a divorce: so be it but that won’t prevent me from saying good morning or making her coffee. It seems the best revenge for hatred is to refuse to drink the bilious poison and to simply proceed, as best as one is able, apace as if nothing else had changed.