I’m beginning to learn, after a mette decade and a half of marriage, that when I shut down and clam up, I’m not protecting anyone. I’m not protecting myself and, if I’m to be honest, I’m giving the silent treatment to my wife because it has an added benefit of hurting her. Yes, there are times when holding one’s tongue is the best policy, but to make a resolve out of it and commit to running a marathon is another issue entirely.
What I’ve realized is that I can still show care and concern even while receiving harsh criticism and expressions of contempt. No, it doesn’t seem to do anything to do anything to mollify her but it certainly keeps my heart from freezing over.
May we all avail ourselves of the protection of the brahmaviharas.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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