It’s day twelve of my attempt to practice brahmacariya and the mind’s constant fascination with and hankering after female forms is both tiring and utterly absurd. There is almost no woman that it will not twist into an object of desire. And, whether skillful or not, I feel sullied by the intrusive thoughts.
Surely these thoughts must subside, right? The feeling is very similar to that which I experienced when I quit smoking but this hook is embedded much more deeply. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all for naught for as long as I am living the lay life. How can I practice strict brahmacariya while folding my wife’s lacy underwear?
And, yet, what better option is there? Resign myself to drowning or at least commit to keeping my head above water despite the fatigue and discomfort?
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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