Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Yesterday was difficult: I was too weak to maintain restraint with the eyes and the mind kept running to play with sexual imagery. Fortunately, I got some good advice from a spiritual friend in a brahmacariya group of which I’m a member that worked well for me despite being based on Vedic and Hindu Chakra teachings. At this point in desperate enough to take whatever help I can get regardless of source. And, who’s to say that many of these teachings aren’t effective for a variety of other ends even if they fall short of the goal of total liberation?

So, using a breath and yogic exercise has helped to deal with sudden attacks of luau and I intend to take up yogic dietary guidelines to assist in overcoming sexual desire. No onions, garlic or chilis as silly as that may sound. We shall see how well it works.

The funny thing is that there is a voice that keeps speaking its disbelief in my head. It’s as if there is a part of me which refuses to believe that celibacy is possible or even good. I have never really looked at it before I suppose but it is strange to be sure. Perhaps I’m holding back due being married and the idea that I may need to enter into relations with my wife to keep the peace at some point although that doesn’t look likely. Until then I hope to commit myself entirely to this practice.