Posted by: Upāsaka | 10/07/2018

Palpable

The feeling of contempt and disgust I feel radiating from my wife (a term that hardly feels right when applied to the person with whom I now share the house) is palpable and reminds me of the tendrils of condensing water vapor one sees around a block of dry ice. It is quite literally one of the strangest and most uncomfortable developments I have ever experienced. And, despite my best efforts, I have not been nearly strong enough to keep my mouth shut resulting in even more issues.

I’m not really clear how we got to a place where she can mock me for being a bad Buddhist and in the same breath wish me to walk in front of a car but it’s completely insane. I have to keep reminding myself to let go of this resentment and to recenter myself in order to weather the unrelenting hailstorm of contempt.

May I never marry again. May I find true refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha. May my children grow up safe, secure and protected. May they practice the Dhamma and progress towards liberation.


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