Posted by: Upāsaka | 08/08/2018

Viriya and Aditthana Parami

This morning was interesting. After firmly determining that I would not allow hunger and the craving after food to derail my practice I found that the weakness and fatigue were much less debilitating than they had been the day before. Resolving and having followed through to wake up earlier I had adequate time to do both walking and seated meditation. A couple of interesting things happened this morning though.

During walking meditation my path takes me into my kids dark and empty room (everyone was sleeping with mami) and back down the hall into the living room. I kept get the feeling that there was something in their watching me; not necessarily malevolent but definitely trying to scare me. Recalling the Lord Buddha’s advice I refused to allow the fear to cause me to stop. I decided to challenge the fear. Strangely, as I pushed the half open door fully and encountered a resistance for which I could find no physical cause. Determined, I pushed open the door and, shortly thereafter, made the decision to go and sit in the room in the dark radiating metta.

At some I resumed walking meditation and the thought occurred to me that, whatever this being was (if it existed outside of my mind at all), it was in a rather sad state of affairs if it lived by trying to frighten other beings in the wee hours of the morning. I began to see my very practice as a way to show this being the path leading to the end of its suffering. To show the being the power of the Buddhadhamma. With these reflections the fear subsided.

Later, during the tempest of seated meditation, I found myself calling on most of the paramis to just make it through. In fear of giving in before the fortieth minute, I made the following asseveration: “May I die if I get up from this seat before forty minutes is up.” Crude? Possibly. Effective? Certainly.


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