Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I’ve heard it said that ill-will is wrong view. Now that I am more closely watching the mind for the defilement of aversion I’m amazed by how often my perception is clouded and incorrect. I’ve noticed over the course of the last two days that some of my first waking thoughts have been criticisms of different people. To say that I’ve been stunned by this realization doesn’t do it justice: the defilements have much tighter hold on the mind than I even realized.

I spent the lion’s share of this morning’s session working with the enmity I’d noticed but then I spoke out of anger to my son a few hours later when I noticed he was bullying good little sister. I know the answer is simply to correct without anger but I failed here too.

And yet, despite the repeated and seemingly endless errors and missteps, I have no real choice other than to continue. The least I can do is to try to recognize my failings as quickly as possible and try to avoid falling prey to them again.