Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been dreading today for the past week. Why? Because today is the day I get to be the one to rent and drive the large, twenty four foot truck that we’re using to move the business. Why the anxiety? Most simply because it is difficult to maneuver it through Brooklyn without hitting anything. Perhaps, the next layer of it is that I’m afraid of being shown up; of being seen to be incompetent; the kid who was good with books but not much else.

Seeing that I can now ask: so what? Do what if I hit something? Well the world end? Of course I’d prefer not to but it feels more likely that I’ll get into trouble by being overly anxious. It’s like when you’re doing target practice: wherever you look is where the projectile will go. Not surprisingly, I’ve noticed the save thing driving over the narrow bridges into Manhattan – if you worry about the wall abs keep looking at it you will invariably street towards it.

So, having seen the anxiety may I have understanding and compassion in my heart and may I do the best I can.