Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This weekend was rough. My wife is going through a rough patch with her schooling which means most of the chores, housework, shopping and childcare falls solely on me — this is in addition to being the sole breadwinner for the house and trying to run a business. I keep finding myself resentful and completely exhausted and my 10 year old doesn’t make it any easier with his frequent outbursts which have been turning increasingly physical. In fact, it has gotten to the point that we have contacted a therapist though god only knows when we’ll have the time for a follow-up appointment.

Yes, I could ruminate atlength on how “unfair” these circumstances are and how they “should” be different but what good will that do? I’m at a loss as to how to parent in a skillful way that both corrects the bad behavior of my son without requiring me to engage with him physically. For now I believe my tactic will be to deescalate even at the risk of “missing” a teaching moment or allowing him to “get away” with something. The stakes are simply too high. In the interim I’m hoping we’ll meet with the therapist and that I can find some help in the literature.