Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I feel like I’m forever coming back to this place: facing temptation, failing and starting over. But, for as tiring and disappointing as it may be I can at least take comfort in the fact that my intentions are correctly set. Also, I do feel that, there is a change that’s slowly taking place as I incline towards the life of a brahmacari.

I think the main thing that has been holding me back is my desire to somehow salvage a relationship when it’s clear that the connection and mutual respect I an craving is not going to spontaneously arise. But, really, that’s besides the point: I the end all things break apart so why votive to create kamma that will only bind me more closely to the wheel of samsara?