Cattāri Brahmavihārā

There have been times when I have thought about how much better my practice would have been had I not married and had kids. I often look back on the time before I married and wonder at the stupidity and pleasure-obsessed person I was. But, am I really so different now?

Here is the perfect opportunity to practice brahmacariya and yet I find myself more resentful than appreciative most times. It’s becoming clearer every day that the problem is not my wife, nor my marriage but my own kilesas.

What would be the perfect scenario? Intimacy every day until we die in forty years when we’ve bound ourselves ever tight to the skein of craving and becoming? Is that what I want? Is that with resentment and burning desire? No, clearly it is not and it’s time to start acting in line with what little wisdom I have.

Mauy we all weaken the fetters that bind us to rebirth, aging and death. May we practice rightly with wisdom and compassion.