Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning, despite having met my formal practice commitments, I’m feeling tired and uninspired. And, although I didn’t actually break the precept against playing music, I certainly had to goad my kids along this morning. In other words, it seems as if the mind is bucking its yoke and is looking for excuses not to observe.

Instead of blindly pushing through, I hope to bring a soft attention and inquisitiveness to the situation. What am I gaining if I decide not to observe? What do I give up by not giving up? Somewhere I know from past experience that there is so much more to be gained from the hosts and, truthfully, aside from eating after noon, there’s nothing much that I won’t already be observing simply as a matter of habit.

So, it seems to come down to food. My obsession with taste is one of my most difficult defilements and is part of the reason that I practice fasting on a regular basis over and above that which the lunar observances dictate. I have no answers but at least I’m beginning to get a clearer idea of the problem and what questions to ask.

May we all grow in virtue, merit and wisdom. Happy upstage!