Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Last night was the first time I can recall becoming aware that I was dreaming and intentionally acting on it. But, what happened immediately before the dream turned lucid is equally as interesting.

Sexual desire has been one of my weakest points and I struggle to keep my thoughts pure at times. And although it doesn't happen often, I have had dreams where I end up engaging in sex acts with women in my dreams. Almost invariably I am aware that, in doing so, I'm cheating on my partner which results in heavy remorse in the dream itself. Often, when this occurs, the dream will darken my day as well.

Last night, firing a certain episode, I began following a scaly clad woman down a hallway and into a room full of lockers. Our eyes met and it was clear what was about to happen but at the last moment I gained some clarity and realized that I did not want to break the third precept. With that I just walked through the room and out side.

Strangely enough when I got outside I met my business partner who was standing on the edge of the East River. He began to swim across as I realized, suddenly, that I was dreaming so could just walk across. With some trepidation I began to walk across the water and then I locked eyes with my friend who was swimming next to me. The look in his eyes was a mix of incredulity and hatred and it felt like the being with whom I had locked eyes was no longer my business partner. Only now do I think this being may have had something to do with the temptation earlier in the dream but I could be mistaken there too.