Cattāri Brahmavihārā

In working out our obligations and responsibilities to those close to us, it seems to me especially difficult to see where our responsibility ebbs and another’s begins. When we ask for concessions to be made so that we can discharge our other responsibilities and a loved one process to make a decision based upon that which they later regret, what is our part? I’m having a hard time teasing this apart but it occurs to me that although I may have influenced the range and tenor of obvious choices, the responsibility for choosing lies with the one who chose. 

My apologies for not clarifying the circumstances more but I just don’t feel comfortable doing so. Clearly, the decision my loved one made had left me saddened and regretful because I feel they have thrown away a great opportunity. They have already expressed to me that they blame me and will resent me for what they view as my having forced them to the conclusion ay which they arrived. Praise and blame are not fit for attention so it is not that which worries me, it’s the possibility that I caused harm where I did not have to.