I don’t know what it is but I feel like so much of what I do is just a waste of time. Reading this. Writing that. Fascinated with this form, disguised by that one. All of it wasted when the mind is distracted and not unified.
What to do? How to change that? I would aver that I’m at an ebb ay present so it feels hopeless; as if nothing were effective and all is for naught. But, I know, I have faith that this isn’t quite right. I put my trusty in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha as practice in whatever small ways I can.
May we all find a way out of the labyrinthine depths of samsara.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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