The kamma of countless lifetimes can seem almost insurmountable at times. This is especially so when you’re trying to change deep-seated patterns in a relationship. Through the force of conditioning, the other person can be virtually blinded to your actual deeds and words. And, if you’re not careful, you can easily end up throwing in the towel rather than slamming your head into an apparent wall to no avail. This is something I’ve done more times than I can count.
But, I don’t have to and there’s no benefit in doing so. Rather, if I stick to my guns and treat the people in my life as well as I can I will surely have nothing to regret and may even reap the reward of some harmony in this life. If, despite my best efforts, the whole thing falls apart, then I can at least enjoy freedom from remorse.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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