Posted by: Upāsaka | 12/15/2016

Hard Hearted

My infant daughter woke up this morning with a cough and a low grade fever. Of course I was concerned and did the right thing by insisting that my wife stay in with her today and I would drop off and pick up the kids. And yet, to say that I did so with a happy heart would be a lie. 

As much as it paid me to admit it, my daughter being sick ruined my day’s plans. Even now I can feel the resentment weighing down on me and curling my shoulders down into my ches. But, why?

When I look at it with some space, I see out in its naked meanness. There is simply no good reason except that I want what I want, everyone else be damned. And, as I’m unable to simply uproot this defilement by force of will I can at least take comfort in the fact that I can see it for what it is and not act on it.

May I reflect on the results of self-cherishing and may I cultivate compassion for my daughter and all beings. 


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