Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 03/09/2015

Equanimity and Coercion

There is a situation that arise this morning that I viewed as a simple mistake that could be rectified later but that my wife thought was an emergecy that necessitated me coming back from Brooklyn after spending an hour and a half doing the kids of to get my son’s contact lens and then bring it back and put it on him. Keep in mind that he can see just fine without it but we use our to strengthen his weak eye. My wife, having been under some pretty heavy stress, had threatened to cause any number of unpleasant things to take place (such as leaving the house to take him the contact and missing a large furniture delivery) if I don’t go but I really can’t justify losing another two hours of my work day so he can have a contract for three hours.

Of course there is irritation and aversion but I have a choice here and it seems to me to be too rely on equanimity as let come what may or be manipulated into doing what she wants at the expense of my other responsibilities. Sure, I suppose I could just do it but then again I have to leave early to pick him up from skateboarding anyway. Not being able to control her actions and being unwilling to change mine in a way that will hopefully south the situation posts the best approach seems to be equanimity. That is, training unmoved by the vicissitudes and cognizant of the kamma I am creating by doing so. Life. Never a simple proposition.


  1. ….still a good contemplation i found ist to consider that they are only your children in this life; that the wife is only your wife this life, our parents are only our parents this life…..we might met them before in countless forms and situations….it doesn.t take away our love from them but helps to soften the attachments…happinees/unhappiness because them only the two sides of same coin….thanks for all your sharings and good reminders…i.m happy to receive…Metta

    • Thank you Ayya. Always a good reflection.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Shillelagh Studies

A hub for the music, culture, knowledge, and practice of Irish stick-fighting, past and present.