Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Even when someone I have helped,
Or in whom I have placed great hopes
Mistreats me very unjustly,
I will view that person as a true spiritual teacher.

For better or worse, my life had lately given me ample opportunities to work with the verse above. In light of yesterday’s post and others before it I know I should be grateful for the chance to practice and am inclining my heart there (there is now at least a grain of gratitude too build upon). Nonetheless, it is still difficult at times to see the negative reactions, words and behaviors of someone you are close to as a result of your own failings and, ultimately, their own attempt to manage suffering. In all such situations compassion should be the first resort when it is often completely forgotten.

Perhaps the thing that had helped the most is the notion that, if one can wait ninety seconds for an angry thought to pass out becomes possible not to act on it. Unfortunately I don’t have the source with me at present but I will try to find the study and post it. Still, from my own experimentation, this money second refractory proof has proven absolutely essential in practicing forbearance and compassion. Where I find myself today it is impossible to move immediately to compassion without feeling some kind of anger that must be restrained but the realization that I need only wait a minute and a half before the situation becomes workable had been tremendously helpful.