Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but I have been having a rough time of it with my formal, seated meditation practices lately. Lots of striving, pushing and doubt. Between worrying that I’m not concentrating enough on the breath, on metta, on the meditation word and worrying about what it is that I should be spending my time cultivating (should I do metta now? contemplation of impermanence? how about non-judgmental awareness?) I’m surprised I’ve actually managed to say in my seat. But, fortunately, I have and today as I was struggling to stay with the breath the craziest thought came to me: everything I practice, everything I do should be an expression of love and compassion.

Anapanasati magically becomes karuna bhavana the minute I start getting down on myself. Contemplating impermanence becomes an opportunity to realize how we all share n suffering of separation and a chance to handle ourselves and others with care. And really, handling with care and overcoming sufferings what this entire Path is about, isn’t it? How silly of me to forget and how certain I am that I will find myself needing a reminder once more soon enough.