Funny how we delude ourselves (or how I delude myself). Regardless of how much I read the Dhamma and try to put into practice the various insights I have gained nothing quite works to dislodge the attachmentI have to gain. This is not to say that my practice is for naught but that I still have lifetimes to go.
I know and have experienced first-hand just how uncertain one’s material welfare is and, even having learned this much, I still overwork myself in the pursuit of financial security. Why do I not believe it will all go one day? Why do I cling so? Ignorance I suppose but until that day that wisdom dawns I will do my best to fight up stream.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
I’ve wondered this. “Why am I knockin myself out with this work I’m doing? It stresses me out so much.” I don’t know. I have a certain level of comfort I want: four walls, heat, data… It seems like this work is just the right amount of work to bring me this level of comfort. But then I wonder if I can tweak it and get my mix just right. Then I realize I’m thinking too much about my mix. Ha. A little maddening.
By: everythingelse21 on 10/08/2014
at 1:29 am