Cattāri Brahmavihārā

157. If, in an argument, the offender and the reprover do not practise strict self-examination, you can expect that it will lead to drawn out, bitter, contentious strife, and no one will be able to live in peace.
And how should the two parties practise strict self-examination? The offender should reflect: “I have committed some wrong and that other person saw me. When he saw, he got annoyed and said so. He rebuked me and I got annoyed and went and told the others. So, it is I who am at fault.”
And how does the reprover practise strict self-examination? The reprover should reflect: “This person has committed some wrong and I saw him. Had he not done it, I would not have seen it, but as he did it, I saw it. When I saw, I was displeased and I told him so. He got annoyed and told the others. So it is I who am at fault.”
So it is that if in an argument the offender and the reprover both practise strict self-examination, you can expect that all will be able to live in peace.

Anguttara Nikaya I.53