The last several months have been an odyssey of disappointment, fear and anxiety and although the conditons and circumstances that have brought me to react in such aversive ways have not ceased I awoke today feeling slightly better. It is as if I have managed somehow to scramble atop a rocky outcropping where I can survey the ocean of delusion and take a brief moment to relax and recover before the next storm swamps me and dashes me under once more.
So, this morning as I was meditating and observing the breath as it moved through the body I realized how much tension I had been holding in various areas. In fact there were few areas that didn’t feeling like buzzing hornets’ nests. Ib realized that I have been living in this state of perpetual discomfort for months on end and, because I have not dedicated myself to the practice as I have in the past, I was allowing these unhealthy energy patterns to dig themselves deeply into my body and mind. I can only imagine the harm I have been doing myself but the silver lining may just be that I can begin anew with the intention to practice well and often motivated by true self-love and concern rather than amistaken sense of machismo and bravado.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
ya sure, you betcha! I began meditating by breathing for 20 minutes each nite and each morning for the last week. It has helped me to relax–can sleep well and my ‘cheek’ [along with the neuropathy pills] ‘stopped’ sending me pain as I meditate. love and ciao, ciao, mu
By: spikee21 on 03/22/2014
at 12:58 pm