Cattāri Brahmavihārā

As a parent of a 6 and 3 year old I find myself tested on a daily basis and, despite my teacher’s encouragement to the contrary, I really do not believe that I am cultivating wholesome skills. Of late my son, the six year old, has been pushhing the boundaries and probing us to see what he can get away with. His tone of voice, the things he says and his stone-like indifference to our repeated requests to get dressed, come to the bathroom, etc. are quickly pushing me to a place where I resort to physical intimidation. Granted, I do not hit but, as he gets older and more physical himself, the lines are blurring.

Thinking back to when I was a child with a father who did hit and whose force and physical presence was a constant in my life I realize that I never tried to hit back until I was a teenager and then only once. The threat of harm was real enough and I had seen and felt the results of disobedience so I knew not to press my luck. My son doesn’t have that fear and I really wonder what that means.