Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been so caught up with efficiently using my time and trying to squeeze every last ounce of productivity out of my waking hours that I only half-knowingly turned my practice into just one more thing to be produced.

It may not be immediately obvious why this is a problem, I know it wasn’t to me at first, but viewing life and practice in this way has lead me to focus solely on the perception of each moment as if it were yet another cog in the assembly line of experience. And, through lack of introspection and delusion I have come to the implicit view that no moment is special or particularly important leading me to live in a half-idealized world that is always only provisional to some future one.

This morning, after the meditation timer went off I decided to finish my round on the mala and I saw, for the first time, just how much suffering I cause myself by boxing myself in to schedules and goals. I’m not quite ready to give those up entirely but I am looking to incline my mind and heart that way. Sukhitaa hontu!