Walking home in the unnaturally warm gloom and rain it began to dawn on me that my days have lately been spent waiting for them to end. In essence I try to get through each day in order to make it to the five or ten minutes when I can relax and read in my bed with my family beside me. How fleeting and how foolish to live in expectation of such a faint and shimmering moment that may never come.
But, to be completely honest, I don’t quite know how to live in fullness right now and if such a thing is even called for. It feels to me as if the tide of my life has flown out and, like the grasses and barren trees all around, the vital forces are just waiting, hidden and husbanding themselves underground until it is time for them to return.
Fatalistic isn’t it? Well, it certainly sounds like that but there are certain undeniable realities about having a human body and its cyclic nature is one of those. Anyway, please excuse my ramblings and may all beings find true peace wherever they may find themselves.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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