Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Countless times have I made the resolve to restrain myself from anger and irritation and for every asseveration made I have soon enough broken my word. How amazing and dsheartening this can seem is hard to describe but I  understand just how easily one can lose all hope and decide that the path cannot be trod in the midst of the household life.

Where does this leave me then? Well, it’s not as if there’s much choice in the matter, especially if I value my own happiness and well-being in the long term. It is clear that the Path must be walked if liberation from suffering is our heart’s desire so it really isn’t a question of “if” but of “how”. In short, my plan is to make this resolve to restrain myself from irascibility not solely in times of relative calm but to bear it in mind at all times and remind myself forcefully of my commitment in the midst of the flames. I do this not solely because I think it will help to quell the hellfire somewhat but also because I cannot continue to feel that I am a person of integrity when I make vows in security only to break them the minute the temperature begins to climb. Better to make them when I know what the stakes are than to simply daydream about them.