Lately I feel as if my daily life and my practice have become evee more divergent and I am struggling to come up with a way to live more fully in line with the Dhamma. I cannot truly tell if the problem is in my mind and I simply need to see my aversion as just that and carry on or if I need to take definitive steps to bring my mode of living more in line with the Dhamma.
This becomes ever more pressing when various people in my life view me as a source of knowledge or as their only example of a Buddhist layperson. As such I feel almost as if I am failing the Triple Gem or actively defiling and defaming it when my comportment or speech is not up to par.
Regardless of whether it is simply in the head or if there is something to it in an objective sense I don’t suppose I could come to harm by being more punctillious in my precepts and behavior. Anyone else experience these types of doubts?
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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