Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 09/17/2013

Friends in the Dhamma

I feel that for most of my adult life, once I stopped drinking and partying and began to act like a fully mature person, I have not really made many new friendships. At the same time, I have somewhat deliberately allowed many old friends to slip away largely due to the fact that they were interested in continuing a style of living that seemed a dead end to me and had no interest whatsoever in the Dhamma. And although I have always thought that practicing the Dhamma with others IRL was important I have made friends with precious few people in the group. Why is that? No idea really although fear is the first thing that comes to mind.

So, what is this about? Maybe when we expose ourselves to others along the same path we may have to acknowledge things about our own practice that we don’t want to see. It’s a lot easier being the ideal Buddhist when there’s no around for comparison. I think that this is really one of the greatest reasons beyond the additional difficulties of scheduling with a job and two kids. So tonight a Dhamma friend from the group wanted to get together to have some Dhamma discussion and I have agreed despite my trepidation. The Lord did say that friendship was the whole of the holy life so I think I should take his word for it and start to actively seek out more friends in the Dhamma.


  1. the right people coming in the right time…sometimes one really good Noble Friend is quite enough.and you have your group people as well. with this blog sharing you are doing a great service to many… its a nice silent contact..i.m always happy to read from an encouragement and a mirrow for the own practise..May you realize highest Truth

    • Thank you Ayya. I’m always grateful for your encouragement.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Shillelagh Studies

A hub for the music, culture, knowledge, and practice of Irish stick-fighting, past and present.

Daily Dhamma Study Group

Teachings of Lord Buddha in the Pali Canon