Cattāri Brahmavihārā

For the last several days I have awoken and floatedd heedlessly through the morning before finally mustering the energy to sit. I don’t really know why but my body and mind have felt especially disorganized in the early morning hours and, today at least, there is a constant tightness that approaches the feeling of panic in my upper chest. Suffice it to say that in such a state of outright agitation there is no way to bring any discernment to bear but, thankfully, the teachings have managed to seep through the layers of sophistry and complication and I was able to remember the breath. So, when convulted mental machinations lead me into distress and disarray I know that I can safely lead the mind to the green and open pastures of the breath. Here again the peace is threatened by a surge of thoughts about the breath (I it good enough? Does it feel peaceful enough? Where should I feel it?) but if I just let go of the thinking and come back again to breathing all of this dissolves away.

And even though I know the breath is not the panacea I would like it to be I can use it until the mind is steady enough once more to look clearly and honestly at all that arises.

Buddham Dhammam Sangham namassami.