Cattāri Brahmavihārā

After doing this for a few years I somewhat expected that my mind would quiet down and the whole thing would get easier. Since I’m writing this it should be obvious that this is not the case. I have mentioned ad nauseam that my formmer hindrance of choice was sluggishness but it has changed over to restlessness of late. In a way I understand that this is the nature of things and that I simply need to stay with it but catching 10 or 12 breaths during a 40 minute period just seems grossly inadequate. I suppose what I’m looking for is confirmation that nothing more can be done but, then again, who but myself could offer that?

My best resort seems to be nothing less than loving-kindness and compassionate acceptance of myself and where I’m at paired with unflagging determination to practice. Much like my five-year-old, my mind will only rebel against any attempt to deal brusquely or harshly with it so I may as well enjoy being kind and gentle to myself.