Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I feel as if I’m repeating myself a lot lately but I have pretty much decided that I will only write from my experience and past kamma has a large role in forming that for me. So, it seems that restlessness and worry are the nivarana du jour as it has been at least a month, if not longer, that my sittings have been plagued by this particular hindrance. No longer am I visited by sloth and torpor during my morning sessions but I am, instead, dragged constantly away from my breath by my worldly preoccupations. And, to tell the truth, my thinking is almost completely invovled with work. And it doesn’t seem to matter just how long I spend in meditation because I seem to be equally capable of thinking about work for 35 minutes or 50.

So, what to do? Obviously, the most fundamental thing to do is to keep at it but I feel that speaking with my teacher and making time for a retreat (even a daylong) would help immensely. Other things I have tried with some success are using a mala in conjunction with a meditation word (mine happens to be “metta”) to calm the mind down but if I don’t move into the breath more deeply I end up losing my way with this after a time as well. In essence it may be best simply to view this as another season of the practice and cultivate what equanimity I can towards it.