Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Sometimes I truly wonder just how much hindrances such as kama are conditioned by celestial bodies because a new phase of the moon is almost upon us and I find myself struggling with sensual desire again. It seems to me that there is a definite, cyclic aspect to it although I would need to keep better track to be sure.

Anyway, it has gotten so bad as to disrupt my formal meditation to the extent that I ended up cutting last night’s session short and spending 20 minutes this morning on recollection of thr first five body parts. I know that simply entertaining lustful thoughts is a large part of the problem but once I let one in it is as if the flood gates have been thrown wide open and I am unable to close them again for some time afterwards. So, in the case where one cannot be certain of success (i.e., of being able to subdue the hindrances) it seems that samma vayamo consists almost exclusively in acting on the intention to squelch unskillful mind states. Now if only I could remember the crushing sense of impotence when these thoughts come calling again I might be able to make better choices.

May we see clearly the drawbacks of sensuality and never again be snared in Mara’s lures.