As I try to refine my practice with regard to dana and service I keep finding that I run up against what appears to be lethargy and laziness. As of yet I can’t quite tell if what I am experiencing is actually the result of physical fatigue or is more psychological in nature but it is not as if I am not familiar with such states. I suppose what surprises m most of all (and only just now put two and two together) is the simple fact that the dullness, sloth and torpor I feel when trying to rouse myself to acts of service is exactly the same feeling I experience in formal meditation. For years I have had to contend with this articular nivarana and was never able to completely tease out where purely physical exhaustion end and thīna-middha ended. Fortunately much o that kamma seems to have ripened and I am not as often assailed by lethargy in my sitting but it was rough going for about 5 years straight.
Anyway, the only way I was really able to ge through it was simply to continue the practice in spite of how difficult it was since I wasn’t really able to alte the external circumstances–I simply had to get up at 4am to meditate otherise my kid (later, kids) would be up and about making it impossible to do much of anything. So, in that same spirit I will no longer allow the voices in my head to convince me that I deserve a rest from a hard week’s work when I have been asked or anything. Regardless of what my mind would ike me to believe the fact remains that I am a healthy and well-fed ma without any serious medical conditions and if my goal in thi life is liberation there’s no excuse for laziness.
May we all rouse the energy to practice for the benefit f ourselves and all beings!
Post Scriptum:
I guess this post really is about viriya parami after all but t’s interesting to see how each parami informs and completes the others so that there really is no linear progression.

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