Abyapajjo homi

Posted by: Michael Rickicki | 04/01/2013

Abyapajjo homi

Today marked from transition form avero homi to abyapajjo homi despite the fact that I could barely keep my seat. The 25 minutes I spent reciting the metta phrases weren’t so bad but the following 35 minutes of anapanasati were absolutely hellish. I just didn’t seem to be able to generate the intention, the true and earnest motivation, to practice breath meditation. I felt that there was a part of the mind/heart that was holding back and, if I were less of a sophist, I would readily admit it was due to this feeling that meditation just wasn’t fun enough. Whatever the case may be, I managed to fight my way through to the end and can at least take comfort in the idea that this was an aditthana sitting par excellence.

As, I mentioned, I have now moved onto the next phrase but have stumbled into a dilemma of sorts. I was pretty clear about the meaning of the first three phrases but abyapajjo homi remains somewhat elusive. The two interpretations with which I am most familiar are “May I be free from oppression” and “May I be fee from affliction.” The former seems to speak of a psychological state whereas the latter seems open to both a physical and psychological interpretation. However, Bhante Sujiva’s site clearly defines abyapajja and anigha as follows:

2. May all beings be free from mental suffering.
Sabbe satta abyapajja hontu

3. May all beings be free from physical suffering.
Sabbe satta anigha hontu

Even taking a quick look at a Pali–English dictionary gives an idea that byajja has to do with the mental state of ill-will more so than a physical condition. It seems that Bhante Sujiva’s interpretation is the most concise and simple of those I have encountered and it has the added benefit of being (at present) the easiest for me to work with. So, tonight or tomorrow or whenever I will be reciting “May I be free from mental suffering” until I feel the first opening in my heart.

May we all be free from mental anguish and grief!