A major theme here, due to the extreme poverty, is theft. Of course there are the big thefts such as grand larceny, stick ups and muggings but the more corrosive and insidious forms are the little indiscretions that are taken by people you want to trust. Hired household help is the norm here, especially among expats, and it seems that we forget all too easily the huge gulf that separates us from them in terms of material wealth. So it should perhaps come as no surprise when someone you have knownn for years takes some liberties and helps themselves to a few dollars here or there. It shouldn’t but it always does.
Over the years I have seen this scenario play out time and again where people we loved and trusted steal and deceive and although you would expect anger to be the first response it isn’t. Instead it’s usually a deep feeling of hurt that causes you to question the possibility of ever trusting anyone. So, what is the appropriate response? I suppose that once we have removed them from a place where they can continue to do harm compassion coupled with equanimity is the only appropriate response. May we all be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
Be well.
By: puddlemonk on 03/15/2013
at 12:58 pm
From my perspective, if they are caught “in flagrante” I would ask kindly if I am not paying them enough for their services. I would ask if there is something that they need to buy which is why they are taking something that was not given to them.
Actually, I read the entire post because of how it began, thinking that you were going to launch into the topic from a different approach. All of us can be guilty of haggling. Some of us may even try to “beat the system” to save a buck, or we fib to get back an extra dollar on our tax returns… I could go on finding a multitude of ways that everyday “upstanding” citizens look to “cheat” another person out of what they are due for their product or effort. Ultimately, no one is immune from such an accusation in my experience!
I basically hoped that your post would address the deeper issue here, rather than to be so superficial about “taking what is not given” and “generosity”.
Although my Tibetan Buddhist studies harp on *Daana* as being about giving Dharma to those who ask for it… my general thoughts are that to truly be generous start with letting go of ego, accepting the First Noble Truth (birth, old age, sickness, and death) and not becoming attached to meeting our own self-centered needs before any other human beings needs.
When we cheat (or steal) from each other, we are stealing from ourselves. There is ultimately no escape. To practice ultimate generosity means that we should evaluate all the ways that we behave that “takes” something from others that was not given to us (by them).
Building trust is also two-way. If we actually “trusted” ourselves that we NEVER ever take what is not given, then we can trust others, even when they take without asking, because we can see through ego’s actions and understand that they are taking, because they are afraid, or in need and their ignorance leads them to actions that ultimately harm them as well as everybody else. This is where the practice of Metta or Bodhicitta comes in handy. As long as they are not taking your life… you can feel fortunate that they are giving you an opportunity to reflect on your own short-comings.
By: Tucson Blonde on 03/15/2013
at 8:54 pm