Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 02/01/2013

The Unkindness of Others

With reason or for seemingly none we have all had to deal with less than kind people in our lives. As someone who would like to think of themselves a dedicated to pursuing and cultivating a heart of kindness and compassion I must confess that I am quite easily moved to anger and resentment when anyone directs the same at me. Now, I have gotten better at containing and restraining myself in word and deed but the fire still smolders in the embers below and it scares me to realize how quickly my anger can catch fire given a slip of mindfulness.

I don’t really have much more of an observation to make on this except that the state of affairs calls fro more practice so as not to get caught up in such unskillful states but, if anyone is reading this and would like to share what they do when confronting unkindness to prevent the arising of unskillful states and cultivate the arising of metta or karuna I would love to hear it. Sukhitaa hontu!




  1. I have learned to laugh at myself, esp. after I catch myself bursting out in anger at other car drivers… I see myself yelling at them and realize how silly I must appear to others!

    It’s good to see your emotional states with humor. As long as I are not enlightened, no need to demonize the fact that it is human to have strong emotions, no matter how irrational they are. Best to work on controlling my actions over controlling how I feel or what I say (though speaking is also considered an action).

    We step on the path to enlightenment one foot at a time!

    Thanks for liking my poem “Unkind words”! 🙂

    • Thanks for the reminder…I’m definitely prone to undue solemnity. Seeing one’s silliness is quite the antidote. Be well!

  2. I find myself sailing in the same boat as you when it comes to unjustified reactions from others. However, i have found that restraining myself from such negative emotions/feelings has only led to increase and an eventual volcanic outburst of all the pent up feelings.

    However,one good way of giving vent to such negativity without causing much harm to anybody is by writing these feelings down in your diary/piece of paper and dont revisit it ever

    • Thank you for sharing…I definitely feel like this blog serves kind of the same purpose. Mettaya.

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Shillelagh Studies

A hub for the music, culture, knowledge, and practice of Irish stick-fighting, past and present.