I tried out a new phrase yesterday which placed more emphasis on the idea that metta is more a doing than a being. Despite how I made feel about myself, or anyone else for that matter, the phrase “May I treat myself with kindness” really helped to place an emphasis on that aspect of metta. This particular turn of phrase also helped to get me through a difficult morning as it seems to be a formulation lying somewhere between metta and karuna. I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks with my metta practice and haven’t really been able to feel much of anything for the last several days especially. It seems to me that, when everything feels flat I need to re-focus on self-metta to remind myself of the reason for the practice: true happiness.
“Significantly, when we do metta practice, we begin by directing metta toward ourselves. This is the essential foundation for being able to offer genuine love to others. When we truly love ourselves, we want to take care of others, because that is what is most enriching, or nourishing, for us. When we have a genuine inner life, we are intimate with ourselves and intimate with others. The insight into our inner world allows us to connect to everything around us, so that we can see quite clearly the oneness of all that lives. We see that all beings want to be happy, and that this impulse unites us. We can recognize the rightness and beauty of our common urge towards happiness, and realize intimacy in this shared urge.”
May we all be well, happy and peaceful.
Source:
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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