Posted by: Michael | 02/18/2010

Forgiveness and Compassion

Forgiveness, khama in Pali, is not, in my own experienced, heavily emphasized on the American Buddhist scene (or at least the particular Vipassana/Zen circles I have traveled in here in NYC).  For whatever reason, every time I considered what I was going to write tonght about compassion I kept coming back to the idea of forgiveness. It just seemed that in order to have compassion for oneself it is quite often the case that one must be willing to forgive one’s own trespasses. But, how exactly, is one to practice forgiveness anyhow? I have yet to find a sutta in which forgiveness is specifically discussed although I’m sure there must be one somewhere within the Sutta pitaka. Failing that, we’re still fortunate to have a 2000 year old commentarial tradition from which to draw inspiration and guidance. Below I’ve included some formal instructions for cultivating forgiveness by Sayadaw U Silananda and some Pali verses requesting forgiveness from the Tiratana.

Kâyena vâcâ cittena – Pamâdena mayâ katam
If by deeds, speech or thought heedlessly, I have done anything wrong,
Accayam khama me bhante – Bhûri-paññâ Tathâgata
forgive me O Master! O Teacher, Great Wise!

Kâyena vâcâ cittena – Pamâdena mayâ katam
If by deeds, speech or thought heedlessly, I have done anything wrong,
Accayam khama me Dhamma – Sanditthika akalika
forgive me O Dhamma! Immediately seen and timeless!

Kâyena vâcâ cittena – Pamâdena mayâ katam
If by deeds, speech or thought heedlessly, I have done anything wrong,
Accayam khama me Sangha – Supatipanna anuttara
forgive me O Sangha! Nobles Ones who have taken the right path, unparallel!

Audio File of the Verses Above

FORGIVENESS
Venerable Sayadaw U Silananda
======================================================================

The following is a paraphrase of Sayadaw U Silananda’s talk on
“Forgiveness”.

Let us start the meditation session with “Forgiveness”. There are
three parts to it.

1. Asking Forgiveness
———————

You should repeat the following verse:

If by deed, speech or thought,
Foolishly I have done wrong,
May all forgive me Honored Ones!
Who are in wisdom and compassion strong.

When you practice vipassana meditation, you may at times feel guilty
of the bad things that you have done in the past especially towards
your elders. Often it can be a hindrance to the progress in your
meditation practice. It is therefore desirable to ask forgiveness in
person from your elders before you start your meditation practice. If
not, you should try to ask for forgiveness in front of a Buddha statue.

2. Forgiving Others
——————-

You should say, “I freely forgive anyone who may have hurt or
injured me.”

When you practice vipassana meditation, you may at times feel angry
of the bad things that others have done to you in the past. Often it
can be a hindrance to the progress in your meditation practice. It is
therefore desirable to forgive others from any wrong that they might
have done.

3. Forgiving Oneself
——————–

You should say, “I freely forgive myself.”

There may be some people who cannot forgive themselves. Often, that
could be a hindrance to the progress in their meditation practice. It
is desirable for them to forgive themselves.

Summary
——-

To minimize hindrances to the progress in your meditation practice,
you should begin each session with “Forgiveness”. Free or minimize your
guilt by asking for forgiveness. Free or minimize your anger by
forgiving others. And, if needed, forgive yourself.

Sources:

http://basicbuddhism.org/index.cfm?GPID=66

http://www.tbsa.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=55&Itemid=1

Posted by: Michael | 02/17/2010

Walking Metta Meditation

I have to admit it: I’m exhausted.  As such, I took some time today to try to find some formal instructions on walking metta meditation.  So far the results have been pretty meager. What I found at the following link was helpful but it doesn’t really address the formal practice and I am unsure if it is produced by the FWBO. With those caveats I’ll post the link here.

Posted by: Michael | 02/16/2010

Equanimity

It was hard this morning to cultivate equanimity towards my formal cultivation of equanimity because the results were definitely lacking. I guess I’ll keep hitting that wall of expectation until I start to understand that a great part of the dukkha comes from wanting my experience to conform to an ideal.  Perhaps because of the difficulty this morning I found myself constantly drawing comparisons between patient forbearance (an excellent quality in itself) and upekkha. But, to be honest, I don’t think the quality of upekkha has much at all to do with the striving that I understand to be inherent in exercising patience. Perhaps I’ll be able to explore the relationship between the two at some later date but for now I’ll leave you with two reflections on equanimity’s meaning people who may just know more than yours truly. Here is the Dhamma talk:

http://bhavana.us/mp3/92509Upekkha.mp3

And here is a short written piece:

Upekkha is a Pali word which means in English equanimity, self-control, accepting the facts and detaching oneself from all feelings or emotions. Equanimity is a balanced state of mind characterized by lack of strong attachments – attractions (cravings or desires) or repulsions (aversions). In equanimity one still notices and cares (even deeply) about what is going on, and has the capacity to be active rather than merely reactive.

All states of mind depend on the power of mind, springing from mindfulness, concentration and wisdom. This state of mind experiences feelings as they really are, without forming any opinion. Whatever feeling that happens, is experienced it as it really is. The mind is put into a balanced state with no difference between good and bad, happiness or pain, wholesomeness or unwholesomeness. If s particular state of mind is formed, it can become attached to this or that, or distracted by good or bad feelings. Such a state of mind is a factor of desire and ends up with suffering. The enlightened ones always say, “Don’t attach to any feeling; good or bad, let go of things.”

Upekkha springs from intention which must be accumulated or practised. The intention does not come to us by accident. It comes to us by training or practising. We may have some bad experiences occurring in our mind when we practise, because we are still overwhelmed by ignorance. If we do it constantly, we can be calm, mindful, concentrated and self-controlled. These states of mind can sometimes suppress some kinds of desire and defilements and some can get rid of them. This depends on how strong our mind is. Upekkha is neither a happy nor a painful state of mind. It is neutral, indifferent to happiness or pain. In practical terms, we have to practise mindfulness to catch ignorance which is the basic root of all defilements; remember, training is needed to do this big task of “Getting rid of desire and getting real wisdom.”

Written by Dhammacaro on 08/18/2006
http://www.buddhapadipa.org/pages/meditation_upekkha.html

Posted by: Michael | 02/15/2010

Gratitude

Two excellent talks on cultivating gratitude by Ajahns Pasanno & Amaro:

http://www.abhayagiri.org/main/medium/1881/

http://www.abhayagiri.org/main/medium/1879/

There’s no doubt in my mind that gratitude and mudita share a lot of common ground. In fact, one of my first teachers consistently advised us to use gratitude as a way to cultivate joy when beginning formal mudita practice. So, whaat is the difference between gratitude and mudita?

The Kataññu Suttas give us a pretty clear idea of the importance of gratitude for living a life of integrity and virtue:

“Monks, I will teach you the level of a person of no integrity and the level of a person of integrity. Listen & pay close attention. I will speak.”

“As you say, lord,” the monks responded.

The Blessed One said: “Now what is the level of a person of no integrity? A person of no integrity is ungrateful, doesn’t acknowledge the help given to him. This ingratitude, this lack of acknowledgment is second nature among rude people. It is entirely on the level of a person of no integrity.

“A person of integrity is grateful & acknowledges the help given to him. This gratitude, this acknowledgment is second nature among fine people. It is entirely on the level of a person of integrity.

{} “I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother & father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, & rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one’s mother & father.”

I have tried to tease the out the exact relationship between gratitude and mudita but it seems almost impossible to do so. In order to cultivate mudita one must be sensitive to the blessings received in another’s life which (in my mind) presupposes an attitude of appreciation and gratitude. If we were to turn this around and instead view it from the first person perspective what else would we have but gratitude? One aspect of gratitude that has always stuck out is the fact that one can only be truly grateful to another being whilst one may appreciate any phenomenon without distinction. I can appreciate a sunset but does it make sense to say that I am grateful to it?

At this point I’m coming to realize that I have perhaps taken this project of distinction-making too far and will end up stranding myself far from the heart of the matter on some desert island in my mind. What is important is to remember that I can use gratitude as a doorway into mudita despite not yet having a full understanding of the mechanisms at work.

“Kataññu Suttas: Gratitude” (AN 2.31-32), translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. Access to Insight, June 7, 2009,http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an02/an02.031.than.html.
Posted by: Michael | 02/14/2010

Karuna

It has been a hard morning but with some appropriate attention things aren’t looking quite so bad anymore (or perhaps I’m simply not looking at exclusively bad things anymore).  This mornings practice was basically the mala practice I’ve been using to for daily metta aspirations but with karuna as the focus.  My preconceptions of the practice were completely blown away as I realized that I didn’t need to use subjects that were blatantly suffering to be effective. If anything it was all the more relevant and poignant to realize that there still exists suffering even for those who outwardly appear to be in good stead and leading comfortable lives. It reminds me of something Thanissaro Bhikkhu said about meditation helping us to become more sensitive to stress (his preferred rendering of suffering).

Posted by: Michael | 02/13/2010

Metta

I had an exceedingly hard time rousing myself today despite the fact that it is an uposatha day (which I will not, unfortunately, be able to observe due to a visit from the in-laws) and that I had decided to forgo last night’s sitting in favor of waking up extra early this morning. Suffice it to say that I got out of bed at 4:15AM rather than the 3:30AM I’d planned. It’s a work in progress.

So, a while back I made a committment to use my 108 bead mala to recite metta phrases for myself, my mother, my kalyana-mitta, a neutral person and an enemy every morning. It ususally takes about half an hour and although it has never yet brought the kind of joy and feelings of ease that seated formal meditation withiout a mala does I feel it’s a useful excercise nonetheless in that it does set the tone for the day and consciously realigns my intentions with metta. I guess the only real issue is time and a strong desire to “get somewhere”.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not one of these people who believe that we have to give up all desire to attain liberation and focus only on the present. I firmly believe that we have to have a desire to practice and reliable landmarks by which to gauge our progress. It’s just that there are times when what I get caught up in is akin to restless anxiety (uddhacca-kukkucca) which serves no purpose other than to weaken the mind.

As a goal for today I’d like to experiment with the use of the meditation word “metta” coordinating each syllable with the in-breat and out-breath. So, out-breath will be “met” and in-breath “ta”. I’ve done this before but with a wrong headed understanding that somehow I would be able to attain some level of concentration while doing so in daily (non-formal meditation) life. Today I intend to undertake the exercise in much the same way that I practice with the mala in the morning.

Posted by: Michael | 02/12/2010

Upekkha

The fourth of the Brahma Viharas and indubitably the most difficult to formally practice for yours truly. I’ve often felt that practicing equanimity is like practicing patient forbearance–something which I can’t conceive of practicing in the (social) vacuüm of seated meditation. Still, this morning as I did the ten minute walk from the train to work and mulling over the upsetting incidents of this morning, I kept reciting “I am the owner of my kamma, heir to my kamma. Whatever I shall do, for good or for evil, to that will I fall heir” and it really began to make sense. The events of this morning are the ripening of past kamma and my reactions will be the seeds of future pleasure or pain. In addition, the difficult person with whom I had the conflict is them-self subject to their actions and owner of their actions. My ad hoc upekkha practice although shallow certainly helped to quell much of the aversion I was feeling. May I carry this lesson through the day.

Oh, and I found an interesting link on upekkha for those unsure of what it might mean here: http://www.mahindarama.com/e-library/upekkha.htm

Posted by: Michael | 02/11/2010

Mudita

I’ve set up my Google calendar to cycle through each of the Brahma Viharas and today just happens to be mudita day. In the unlikely event that anyone happens to stumble upon this and not know what it is here is a link:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/various/wheel170.html

Anyhow, I’ve always had difficulty trying to practice mudita formally (not to say that I’ve had any grand successes informally) but today I may have chanced upon a method that works for me. Please keep in mind that I am not a teacher and that this blog is primarily to serve as an impetus to record my own progress in working with the brahma viharas so please take everything here with a grain of salt. So, in brief, the method I worked with todays s as follows:

Using the traditional (commentarial method found in the Visuddhimagga) method of cycling through oneself, benefactor, friend, neutral person and enemy I decided to try finding three good qualities or possessions of each person.  I then took to reciting these mentally until a feeling of joy and appreciation arose before preceeding to the next. I did this for about 20 minutes and enjoyed a definite brightening of the mind-so much so in fact that when I opened my eyes the darkened room in which I sat at first seemed much brighter (this could have been attributable to any number of things but it was interesting nonetheless.

There’s just one thing I want to highlight for future reference: I discovered in the course of trying out this technique that I was able to appreciate a skillful intention as much as an already arisen or developed quality. For example, I may have some reservations about the untarnished nature of all of my precepts and, as a result, I may not be able to sincerely feel as much joy from reflecting on my track record. However, when I turn my attention to my commitment to the precepts and the fact that it is a constantly renewed reality in my life I was able to cultivate a lot of joy and appreciation. I’m glad I remembered to put that in here because otherwise I may have forgotten it for whole lifetimes. Phhew!

Okay, so that’s my inaugural post. Tomorrow is Upekkha day (one which is even harder for me than mudita) so it should be interesting. Sabbe sattaa sukhitaa hontu!

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