Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 06/12/2013

Volunteering

Last night was the first class in a five-week series for beginners for which I am volunteering. It seems that this has become a rather regular appointment of mine as I wasn’t initially certain if I would be doing the beginners’ class again but was asked by the instructor if she could count on me to be there. I really enjoy talking with people who are encountering the Dhamma for the first time and have always learned a lot from the introductory courses so I didn’t hesitate at all when asked.

During these classes I always seem to find myself reflecting on the history of my practice in thise life and realizing just how far I have come. Perhaps even more surprising than the fact that my views and practices are so vastly different from complete beginners is the fact that my take on the Dhamma diverges so widely from so many of the other members of the group. Speaking with another volunteer last night I was struck by our completely different approaches to the Dhamma on at least two different occasions. I suppose I could either be comforted by this fact, seeing it as evidence of the universal appeal and application of the Dhamma, or I could use it as a basis for worrying if I am practicing correctly. Given the choice, however, I think I will take the former.

May all beings find refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: beginner, Buddha, communtiy, Dhamma, Sangha, volunteering

Posted by: Michael | 06/11/2013

Humbling

So, after a particularly stressful, late-evening recital in which I forcibly restrained one child and had to run out of the auditorium with another screaming in my arms through a soloist’s piece my wife has given me an ultimatum: go to counseling or get packing. I honestly don’t know what exactly counseling is supposed to do for me nor the specific reason that she wants me to go because it changes from time to time. I have alternately been diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder, anger problems and being a bad parent (all by my spouse of course since I have yet to seek professional help) and although there is some truth in all of these claims I remain unsure about how individual counseling will help. In other words, it is not I who has the problem with my “problems” (although less anger and being a better parent are goals towards which I am constantly working) but my wife. In fact, as I considered my options this morning I couldn’t figure out where to begin for the life of me.

What do I tell the counselor? I can go the easy route and simply say that I am there to work on my unskillful behaviors rooted in anger and fear and that I would appreciate any help specifically in regard to improving my parenting but I almost feel as if I will be deceiving them. I think that, whatever I do, I will need to come right out and tell the counselor that I am there primarily at my wife’s behest.

So, how do I feel about this? Angry and resentful but, in all honesty, who couldn’t benefit from talking to mental health professionals? My greatest fear is that I will do this but my wife will claim I have “tricked” the counselor into believing I’m a good guy (there is a precedent for this) so I am reticent to embark upon such a costly and time intensive endeavor. Still, none of that matters since the trump card has been pulled. Let us see how this goes.

May I remain humble and open-hearted to the criticisms and views of others.

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: anger, Anxiety, counseling, Mental Health, parenting, therapy

Posted by: Michael | 06/10/2013

Managing

In so many ways I have an uncomfortable and somewhat tortured relationship with what I do for a living. I am in a business whose sole goal is to sell people things that they do not need and to do so as cheaply as possible in order to maximize profits in order to take home a laarger slice of the pie. Reflecting on it in this way and comparing where I am now to what I was doing 11 years ago in grad school I vacillate between regarding myself as supremely idealistic and impractical and imagining myself at that time as a young man with more noble aspirations.

But, when I come back to reality it is quite easy to see that as noble as my ideals were back then my life and behaviors were far more base. If anything the discipline required to run a business has helped me to stay on the path despite the real and imagined ethical pitfalls of running a business. So, rather than holdong back and entertaining some vaguely formed notion that I am not really a business owner I am beginning to think that a better, and certainly more honest, approach would be to embrace my role fully to do a better job at it overall.

As it stands I feel like I have been winging it for too long when it comes to managing my employees although I have always referred to and will continue to follow the Dhamma in making my decisions. Still, I feel that I have been lacking in my efforts and that I would be a better boss if I took steps to learn more management and hiring techniques. But, and this the the quesstion, how does one define “better” in this circumstance? Is being a better boss a function of profit or is it more at retention of staff and, therefore, reduction of turnover costs as calculated by considering training, unemployment claims and the time it takes to vet candidates? In essence, I am of the belief that you can’t short-change employees and treat them badly if you hope to succeed in the long term so, for me at least, the secret seems to lie in managing employee expectations and providing clear goals and excellent training. Now, how this gets done is a different matter altogether.

I apologize for this long and rambling post but I am trying to think through these issues in light of the Dhamma. May all beings look after themselves with ease!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Buddha, Dhamma, employees, employers, work

Posted by: Michael | 06/09/2013

Too Serious

Since last night’s post I have been thinking a lot about dukkha and how it is compounded by my own belief in it. For example, when I was in Chicago this past week, I began to believe that there really was some thing called my “family” whose absence caused me great pain which could only be remedied in the future by returing to close, physical proximity. As is now painfully obvious this was the height of delusion for, although I love and care y family, my return has clearly demonstrated that I reified an idea over which to suffer. The truth of relationships is never static and rarely harmonious especially when those to whom you are relating are not dedicated to training the heart.

So, what is the take away? Perhaps it’s simply that I shouldn’t take my longins and fears so seriously if I am truly committed to living for my own long-term benefit. It seems that when I believe whole-heartedly in any thought based on the three poisons I only increase my suffering-a fact which should be obvious but which I constantly forget.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Buddha, delusion, Dhamma, Dukkha, Sangha

Posted by: Michael | 06/09/2013

Dukkha

I find myself back at home after all of my worry and longing for my home and family and I have come right back to the dukkha of playing house. How easy it is to forget that dukkha is dukkha whether it is the dukkha of traveling, the dukkha of longing or the dukkha of being at home. Something is always out of place and nothing is ever quite good enough. At some point it would be an infinitely good idea to realize that this is precisely what the Lord Buddha was pointing to and get a little more serious about putting an end to all of the forms of dukkha.

The Nature, Path and Goal of Life (ethicsgem.wordpress.com)
Embracing Karma (lifeofthrees.wordpress.com)
The Buddha’s Words on Kindness (Part 3) (inf0junkie.wordpress.com)
This is Dukkha (108plus.wordpress.com)

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Arts, Customer, Dukkha, Four Noble Truth, Gautama Buddha, Home Improvement, impermanence, Pali, religion, spirituality

Posted by: Michael | 06/07/2013

The Goal

Today is our last day here and we fly back to NYC tonight at around 5. I can’t help but feel that I have failed to maintain my standards of practice and feel some remorse for that. Still, the fast paced, business oriented atmosphere of the conference has not been conducive to contemplation or reflection. It’s always easy to forget that what it takes to be successful in worldly life is rarely what is necessary to succed in reaching the goal of the path. May we all practice rightly and never forget the true goal of release.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Business, Dhamma, Nibbana

Posted by: Michael | 06/06/2013

Association

Before the day has taken its headlong dive into business preoccupations I wanted to write here to try to stabilize my heart and firmly anchor it in the views and inclinations of the Dhamma. I completely understand the Lord Buddha’s correction of Ananda now when he related that frriends are the whole of the holy life because it has been too easy to slip into ways of talking and thinking which are akusala simply by remaining in close association with my partner for 18 hours a day. This is, of course, not to debase or deride him because I find him to be amongst the most generous people I know but it is true that he doesn’t hold the Dhamma in the high esteem that I do so some aspects of the path such as samma vacca and samma kammanto are lacking or completwly eschewed altogether. Hence my attempt to clear my head now after my sit and my desire to set the intention to live today in accord with the Dhamma.

May I remain true to the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha and may I ever incline the mind towards harmlessness and loviing-kindness!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Metta, Practice at Work, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: Ananda, Buddha, friendss, harmlessness, kalyana-mitta, metta

Posted by: Michael | 06/06/2013

Trade Shows

It’s very late for me and my head is aswim in a thousand thoughts most of which have to do with my job. It is a strange thing to spend so much time devoted to the pursuit of material gain but this is the nature of the beast. I am just thankful that we don’t do these expos often. May all beings enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: daily life

Posted by: Michael | 06/04/2013

Business Trip

So my business partner and I are leaving today for a 4 day conference in Chicago and I am suffering serious pangs of separation anxiety brought on by my attachment to my wife and children. For me this anxiety is most apparent in its manifestation as my fear about what will happen to my kids should anything happen to me but there is also a touch of simply longing to be with them. It seems that the older my kids get the stronger the bonds of affinity and attachment become and I truly appreciate all of the venerable bhikkhus and bhikkhunis who have cut themselves loose from the cords of the household life in a way that I didn’t only a scant five years ago.

I think, though, that at time like these it’s important to remember just how delusive all of this thinking is and how nothing at all can be grasped and held onto. Even if I were to stay in physical proximity to my family during my every waking moment there is nothing that would prevent our eventual separation. There is no safety in samsara. So, where is the refuge? In the path taught by the Buddha which is the Dhamma and lived by the Sangha.

May we all seek true security from harm and tread the Lord Buddha’s path to release!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: attachment, Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, Tisarana

Posted by: Michael | 06/03/2013

Bear with It

I can’t explain it but everything of late has been much more exhausting than it should be. Unsurprisingly, my formal meditation has seemed like a chore despite the fact that there have been a few moments of ease sprinkled throughout each sit. I am applying what antidotes I can and attempting to arouse kusala states but am not seeing great results. Call it a period of purification or call it kamma but at times like this the best I can do is bear with it and not be overly or onsessively concerned with results.

And, that is, for me, the crux of the issue. If the practice were about completely surrendering oneself up to the moment without evaluation or judgement that would be one thing but blind equanimity as a view and practice flies in the face of samma vayamo (Right Effort). The irksome bit about all of this is the tension inherent in the process: coming back time and again to evaluate the effort I’m putting into the formal practice and in daily life and seeing little in terms of resulting peace and ease. Still, I have confidence in the path and have seen it come to fruition enough times in the past to bear with it reegardless of how long it may take.

May we strive on with compassionate ardency until we reach the goal!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: ardency, compassion, exhaustion, farigue, right effort, samadhi, samma vayamo, viriya