Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Maybe it’s just me, but I rarely ever see people dwelling on the good in others with whom they disagree. And, although this may not seem like a subject that merits further investigation, I have seen Thurber terrible consequences that this tendency to see only the bad in others brings about in my own heart and mind.

The mine rebels at the mere hint that our enemies or evil people could possibly possess any good qualities but why is that? Are they truly bad or is it possible that much of the so-called evil is a result of the relationship or web of relationships that bind us together? Even if we can’t go this far, most of us will admit that it takes two to tango and that we’re contributing in some way to the aversion and unskillfulness.

What I’ve found is that when in take the time to cultivate an appreciation of the good in others, my heart softens and, eventually, a way to forgiveness and mettā becomes possible. The relationship (whether with a fascist president or a resentful wife) becomes workable. I can forgive and live without the terrible burden of hatred, anger and bitterness.

I’ll post some suggestions for mudita meditations but what better way to begin than at the source:

As for a person who is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, but who periodically experiences mental clarity & calm, how should one subdue hatred for him?

Just as when there is a little puddle in a cow’s footprint, and a person comes along, burning with heat, covered with sweat, exhausted, trembling, & thirsty. The thought would occur to him, ‘Here is this little puddle in a cow’s footprint. If I tried to drink the water using my hand or cup, I would disturb it, stir it up, & make it unfit to drink. What if I were to get down on all fours and slurp it up like a cow, and then go on my way?’ So he would get down on all fours, slurp up the water like a cow, and then go on his way.

In the same way, when an individual is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, but periodically experiences mental clarity & calm, one should at that time pay no attention to the impurity of his bodily behavior…the impurity of his verbal behavior, and instead pay attention to the fact that he periodically experiences mental clarity & calm.

Thus the hatred for him should be subdued.

Aghatavinaya Sutta: Subduing Hatred

Today I took a trial class at a new BJJ school. I did a Muay Thai pads class before but felt good enough when the gi class started. All was good and most everybody was a white belt. Imagine my surprise when the live rolls started and I got my butt handed to me in most of the rolls. Humbling, and I was happy I used my white belt instead of my blue belt.

There are a few main takeaways and I’ll list them in no particular order:

• I definitely need to train here.
• I definitely need to keep putting myself in places and circumstances where I’m humbled and where I’m not particularly skilled.
• Failure and defeat are particularly salutary, especially when I don’t allow myself to make excuses.

A corollary to all of the above, and which I experienced in the Muay Thai class as well as with one particular partner in BJJ, is that some guys want to take your head off and dominate you. In MT I definitely felt that I could handle myself whereas in BJJ I got owned but that doesn’t actually matter. What matters to me is that it’s an opportunity to train in remaining with a mind full of friendliness despite what the other person is putting out. Martial arts offers an opportunity to train this kind of friendliness in the most visceral, embodied way possible and is crucial for anyone seriously contemplating nonviolent resistance.

1. Dāna (Generosity) – Share with others and help those in need.
2. Sīla (Morality) – Be a good example by doing what’s right.
3. Pariccāga (Selflessness) – Put your people’s needs before your own.
4. Ājjava (Honesty) – Tell the truth and keep your promises.
5. Maddava (Gentleness) – Be kind, humble, and listen well.
6. Tapa (Self-Control) – Live simply, not chasing luxury.
7. Akkodha (Calmness) – Don’t let anger control you.
8. Ahimsā (Non-Violence) – Protect life and promote peace.
9. Khanti (Patience) – Stay strong and calm in hard times.
10. Avirodha (Harmony) – Work with your people, not against them.

By the merit I have generated through this action,
May I be reborn in the presence of the Blessed One, Lord Metteyya.
May my heart be steadfast and my resolve unshakable.
May I cultivate unwavering courage and tireless energy.

Through this determination, may the Blessed One look upon me and say:
“This one shall be foremost in energy and courage.”

May this apsiration guide me through innumerable rebirths, for the welfare of all beings.

We live like a chicken who doesn’t know what’s going on. In the morning it takes its baby chicks out to scratch for food. In the evening, it goes back to sleep in the coop. The next morning it goes out to look for food again. Its owner scatters rice for it to eat every day, but it doesn’t know why its owner is feeding it. The chicken and its owner are thinking in very different ways.

The owner is thinking, “How much does the chicken weigh?” The chicken, though, is engrossed in the food. When the owner picks it up to heft its weight, it thinks the owner is showing affection.

We too don’t know what’s going on: where we come from, how many more years we’ll live, where we’ll go, who will take us there. We don’t know this at all.

The King of Death is like the owner of the chicken. We don’t know when he’ll catch up with us, for we’re engrossed—engrossed in sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, and ideas. We have no sense that we’re growing older. We have no sense of enough.

-Ajahn Chah