It is funny just how quickly and how often I forget to be aware of the breath despite having a committed daily practice and repeatedly making the resolve to stay with the breath in the body at all times.
Each time I remember to put the attention on the breath it actually feels as if I am breaking through some kind of thick, hazy membrane and into the present and I wonder how I could ever forgotten in the first place. And then, inevitably, in the span of minutes I am swept under and dragged along the rocks and detritus in the riverbed of thought.
I often worry that I lose track because I am not solely committed to the breath as my single practice but often work the brahmaviharas in daily life as well and, yet, when I have lost myself it is not in metta, karuna or any other perception of well-wishing. No. When heedlessness overtakes me it is never when I am fabricating perceptions that are kusala. So, perhaps it is not a question of keeping the breath in my as much as it is remaining heedful through whatever means are appropriate in the moment.
May we remain steadfast in our resolve to awaken and cultivate heedfulness in all of our words, thoughts and deeds.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 