Cattāri Brahmavihārā

People follow & associate for a motive. Friends without a motive these days are rare. They’re shrewd for their own ends, & impure. Wander alone like a rhinoceros.

Khaggavisana Sutta: A Rhinoceros

I’m slowly learning what it looks like to wander alone even in the midst of a marriage. I see everyday that the person I married is not someone who values me, likes me or wants anything from me beyond material support.

And that’s normal. It’s okay. It’s the result of kamma.

I’m learning not to carry resentment. I’m learning that I’m entitled to no one’s affection. I’m learning that life is like this.

I’m learning to practice silā, samadhi and pañña here and planning for the types of admirable friendships I may make after this current situation dissolves.

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.